January 11, 2018
Dear President Trump,
Your Team Trump folks sent me an email yesterday, and I
have to admit that I’m a bit confused.
First, they asked me if I thought January 20th,
2017 was a fantastic day, because it was the day We the People elected Donald
Trump president (I didn’t, but that’s neither here nor there), and whether I
would like to join the president and whichever of his children were most likely
to not be in jail for dinner on January 20th of this year.
Under that they invited me to contribute one dollar to be
automatically entered to win, the prize being a chance for dinner with you,
Eric and Lara at a place in Florida!
Under that, in large white letters on a red background is a
button to click that says: “Contribute $1”
They said you asked that all of your loyal supporters be
told about this opportunity, to join the whole family at the most beautiful spot
in Florida for an evening we’ll never forget!
Then it asked me to contribute $1 right now to be automatically entered
to win an exclusive trip to Florida for Dinner with the President and His
Family!
Thank you, Team Trump.
Contribute 1$
Then, underneath all that, is a forwarded message from you,
Mr. Trump. It says the same thing,
basically, with one small change: before
it raises the stakes by saying I get to bring a friend, and that dinner is at
Florida’s “Most Exclusive” Club, and we get to pose for a picture (!), you
lowered the boom on us. The price went
up to 3$.
You make it all clear when you say, “All it takes is any
contribution of 3$ or more before the deadline to be automatically entered for
this once-in-a-lifetime chance…”
Under that is a stack of suggested contributions, ranging
from $200 down to $35, ending with “Contribute Other Amount”, which could be
3$, I guess.
Then at the bottom you add a few details. The most exclusive club in Florida is in Palm
Beach, apparently, and the deadline is 11:59 PM on January 17, 2018. That’s cutting it mighty fine if the dinner
is on the 20th. That only
leaves me 3 days to buy a suit and get my hair done. Are you sending Air Force One or Two to pick
me up at Sea-Tac?
But no, I found the link in the email that led to the fine
print, and read all of that.
First thing, I see you’re bringing me in on an airline of
your choice, putting me up in a hotel of your choice. That’s ok, but I’m
surprised you’re going to have me in Coach.
You ever fly Coach across the country?
I doubt it.
Then I see that all meals and ground transportation is up
to me while I’m there. So much for “all
expenses paid”. Then I see that this
deal is going to pick 50 winners! How
exclusive is that, I ask? Then I see
that I get to pay the taxes on all this, too!
How much is that photo-op worth to the IRS?
Then I see that the Secret Service has to do a background
check on all 50 winners, not to mention their friends, and get it done in 3
days, and I gotta wonder, how much is that going to cost the American
Taxpayer? Are the results of those
checks going to be available under the Freedom of Information Act? I guess not, according to the fine print in
the email, I have to send an SASE with return stamp to your campaign hq in
Massachusetts after February 15, 2018 to get the answer to that question. I’m half tempted…
Then we get to the nitty gritty. If I don’t, for any reason, pass this background
check, the whole deal is off. Beyond
that, the 50 winners will be selected from a pool of eligible contributors and
selected using criteria supplied by the Sponsor “…to provide for an appropriate
range of views, backgrounds, and interests.”
In other words, your people are going to cherry pick out of
the pile 50 people and their guests that have passed the Secret Service
background checks and, since the drawing is going to be held on January 18, and
the winners notified the same day, and the dinner is in Florida (at
Mar-A-Lago?) two days later, I’d say you’ve got your work cut out for you.
In fact, the more I think about it, I’d say the whole “contest”
is as phony as Trump University ever was.
I’d have to say you can kiss my ass for 1$, let alone 3. I’d say you’d have to be a
dumb-as-a box-of-rocks Redneck to fall for this one. :-{)}
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