The Washington Redskins

The world of sports gives us many different ways for individuals to compete, to strive to be the best, to attack the other guy and declare victory over the defeated foe.  The games are kind of fun, too, but the real conflict happens on the radio and the tv set as the various commentators, talking heads (by the way, have you noticed that Joe Buck’s head is larger than his shoulders?), gasbags, signal callers, color commentators and play-by-play guys in the press box and on the sidelines and in studios carry on for days about stupid inconsequentiae or take something obvious and turn it into a cause.  A good example of this is the current controversy to force the Washington Redskins football team to change their name.

You’d think it would be crystal clear to the most cretinously accelerated slob from the suburbs that, if the Natives tell you the Redskin name as applied in supposed homage to the noble savages is offensive, it’s offensive!  Duh!  What more do you need to hear?  You can’t deny anyone’s perception, they own it!

People being people, they get set in their ways and don’t like for things to change.  I like to think there’s always a way to solve a problem if you can just agree on what it is.  In that light, I believe I have stumbled upon a possible solution to the controversy:  They can rename the team the Washington Redskin Potatoes!  Talk about having your French fries and eating them!  Think about the possibilities!  The fans could gather in the stadium and root for their team!  The club mascot would be Spud, and the dancing girls would be the Yammers!  The logo would be a big laughing tuber!  Fans could smuggle in potatos in their pockets to throw at the ref when he blows a call, or at the receiver when he drops a pass.  The stadium could sell Rally Fries, Bangers and Mash, Shake and Bake Russets, and Cleveland Hash Browns.  During the off-season the field could be converted to a P-patch!  When they played the Rams or the Bears it would be considered a food fight!  Back to back games with the Dolphins and the Broncos would be Surf and Turf!

See how easy it is to solve problems when you put your heads together?   Don’t thank me, thank you!  We should do this again soon!  :-{)}