Mathematics made easy

Mathematics starts with the concept of nothing, expressed as a zero, and continues to infinity, shown as a lazy eight laying on its side.

Since explanations are my stock in trade, I have come up with simple understandable demonstrations of these two concepts, which I am happy to share.

Zero is easy, learned as a toddler.  You have a nice piece of halloween candy in your hand, and you put it in your mouth.  Pleasure ensues, leaving a sticky residue on your fingers and face.  So you go to Mom and ask for more.  First thing she does is drag you to the sink and wash off your hands, along with your snotty nose.  The sticky residue is gone.  All gone, just like the candy.  So zero means no more, and there is no tantrum or plea that will make it come back.  A bitter lesson to be learned from something so sweet.

The hardest lessons are learned early.  I remember my son one time, he was about three, maybe.  We were at the store, and he wanted a treat.  I said, “No, put that back.  Payday is Thursday, and we can’t afford any treats till then.”  “But Daddy,” he said, “Can’t we just go to the Cash Machine and get more money?”  That was when I realized his understanding was that when you grew up, they gave you a magic card and you went to a machine and made it spit money out any time you wanted.  Ah, if only that were true!  The funny thing is, he’s a lawyer now, and it is.

Infinity, however, is a bit harder to grasp.  I found it in my bathroom.

Back when my illustrious wife retired the first time, before they called her up and said nice things to get her to come back as a temp, she looked around and decided the upstairs needed a bit of sprucing up.  Thirty thousand or so dollars later, one of the changes was a nice new medicine cabinet in the bathroom, which featured mirrored glass panels on all surfaces.  Behind the shelves, glass.  On either outside vertical panel, glass.  Inside both doors, more mirror.  There is no place in that room where you can’t look at the cabinet and see yourself looking back if the angle is right.  I understand what Lewis Carroll was thinking.  And here’s where infinity comes in, and you can try this at home with no danger other than to your mind if your bathroom cabinet is similarly equipped.  The doors open to the side, meaning you can stand in front over the sink and open both, then lean in to a point where you can look to either side.

You quickly realize that both doors can be gently positioned to show the reflection of the one on the opposite side, with your head in the middle, and, when you do, you are looking directly (out of the corner of your eye) at infinity.  As far as the eye can see, followed by as far as the mind can think, there it is, laid out for you to contemplate, your smiling face, and your hair, too, if any.  I’d say it was mind boggling, but I don’t know what that means.  If you could somehow magnify your vision you could theoretically look far enough down the line past all your noses to where the image would be lost in the Brownian Motion of the particles of glass, itself an extremely viscous liquid, like hair gel.

So infinity is related to hair gel, and that’s as far down that path that any sane person wants to go.  If any of you are so intrigued with this notion, but not equipped to experience it in person, give me a call.  For a small fee I can arrange a personal visit to infinity, one at a time.  :-{)}